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Some men will brag about their prowess in the bedroom but in all things actions speak louder than words.
If a man gets aroused from foreplay there's a good chance that he will get and keep an erection if he isn't suffering from health conditions he hasn't disclosed to you.
The best lovers are the ones that are attentive to your needs, communicate honestly and openly and don't skimp on the fore or afterplay.
OP, I can sooooo feel for you, but rather found my dilemma as a local problem here in Jamaica.
The local guys here are as of their mid 40s usually physically grossly out of shape with considerable bellies and as of their 50s additionally mentally so jaded that they are no fun to be around, much less when it comes to sex.